P. G. Wodehouse: Uneasy Money

Chapter 13 (continued)

'The hape is seated on the kitchen-sink, m'lady, throwing new-laid eggs at the scullery-maid, and cook desired me to step up and ask for instructions.'

'What!' Lady Wetherby rose in agitation. 'What's he doing that for?' she asked, weakly.

A slight, dignified gesture was Wrench's only reply. It was not his place to analyse the motives of monkeys.

'Throwing eggs!'

The sight of Lady Wetherby's distress melted the butler's stern reserve. He unbent so far as to supply a clue.

'As I understand from cook, m'lady, the animal appears to have taken umbrage at a lack of cordiality on the part of the cat. It seems that the hape attempted to fondle the cat, but the latter scratched him; being suspicious,' said Wrench, 'of his bona fides.' He scrutinized the ceiling with a dull eye. 'Whereupon,' he continued, 'he seized her tail and threw her with considerable force. He then removed himself to the sink and began to hurl eggs at the scullery-maid.'

Lady Wetherby's mental eye attempted to produce a picture of the scene, but failed.

'I suppose I had better go down and see about it,' she said.

Wrench withdrew his gaze from the ceiling.

'I think it would be advisable, m'lady. The scullery-maid is already in hysterics.'

Lady Wetherby led the way to the kitchen. She was wroth with Eustace. This was just the sort of thing out of which Algie would be able to make unlimited capital. It weakened her position with Algie. There was only one thing to do--she must hush it up.

Her first glance, however, at the actual theatre of war gave her the impression that matters had advanced beyond the hushing-up stage. A yellow desolation brooded over the kitchen. It was not so much a kitchen as an omelette. There were eggs everywhere, from floor to ceiling. She crunched her way in on a carpet of oozing shells.