P. G. Wodehouse: Uneasy Money

Chapter 13 (continued)

'Well, you made me engage Wrench. It's fifty-fifty. I wish you wouldn't keep picking on Eustace, Algie dear. He does no harm. Mr Sherriff and I were just saying how peaceable he is. He wouldn't hurt--'

Claire came in.

'Polly,' she said, 'did you put that monkey of yours in the garage? He's just bitten Dudley in the leg.'

Lord Wetherby uttered an exclamation.

'Now perhaps--'

'We went in just now to have a look at the car,' continued Claire. 'Dudley wanted to show me the commutator on the exhaust-box or the windscreen, or something, and he was just bending over when Eustace jumped out from nowhere and pinned him. I'm afraid he has taken it to heart rather.'

Roscoe Sherriff pondered.

'Is this worth half a column?' He shook his head. 'No, I'm afraid not. The public doesn't know Pickering. If it had been Charlie Chaplin or William J. Bryan, or someone on those lines, we could have had the papers bringing out extras. You can visualize William J. Bryan being bitten in the leg by a monkey. It hits you. But Pickering! Eustace might just as well have bitten the leg of the table!'

Lord Wetherby reasserted himself.

'Now that the animal has become a public menace--'

'He's nothing of the kind,' said Lady Wetherby. 'He's only a little upset to-day.'

'Do you mean, Pauline, that even after this you will not get rid of him?'

'Certainly not--poor dear!'

'Very well,' said Lord Wetherby, calmly. 'I give you warning that if he attacks me I shall defend myself.'

He brooded. Lady Wetherby turned to Claire.