William Shakespeare: Twelfth Night

ACT I. 5. SCENE V. A Room in OLIVIA'S House.

[Enter MARIA and CLOWN.]

MARIA.
Nay; either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open
my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse: my
lady will hang thee for thy absence.

CLOWN.
Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this world needs
to fear no colours.

MARIA.
Make that good.

CLOWN.
He shall see none to fear.

MARIA.
A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was
born, of, I fear no colours.

CLOWN.
Where, good Mistress Mary?

MARIA.
In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

CLOWN.
Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are
fools, let them use their talents.

MARIA.
Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent: or to be
turned away; is not that as good as a hanging to you?

CLOWN.
Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and for turning
away, let summer bear it out.

MARIA.
You are resolute, then?

CLOWN.
Not so, neither: but I am resolved on two points.

MARIA.
That if one break, the other will hold; or if both break,
your gaskins fall.

CLOWN.
Apt, in good faith, very apt! Well, go thy way; if Sir Toby
would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh
as any in Illyria.

MARIA.
Peace, you rogue; no more o' that; here comes my lady: make
your excuse wisely; you were best.

[Exit.]

[Enter OLIVIA and MALVOLIO.]