PART TWO
17. CHAPTER XVII
(continued)
It was one of those rigid principles, and no petty egoistic feeling,
which had been the ground of Nancy's difficult resistance to her
husband's wish. To adopt a child, because children of your own had
been denied you, was to try and choose your lot in spite of
Providence: the adopted child, she was convinced, would never turn
out well, and would be a curse to those who had wilfully and
rebelliously sought what it was clear that, for some high reason,
they were better without. When you saw a thing was not meant to be,
said Nancy, it was a bounden duty to leave off so much as wishing
for it. And so far, perhaps, the wisest of men could scarcely make
more than a verbal improvement in her principle. But the conditions
under which she held it apparent that a thing was not meant to be,
depended on a more peculiar mode of thinking. She would have given
up making a purchase at a particular place if, on three successive
times, rain, or some other cause of Heaven's sending, had formed an
obstacle; and she would have anticipated a broken limb or other
heavy misfortune to any one who persisted in spite of such
indications.
"But why should you think the child would turn out ill?" said
Godfrey, in his remonstrances. "She has thriven as well as child
can do with the weaver; and he adopted her. There isn't such a
pretty little girl anywhere else in the parish, or one fitter for
the station we could give her. Where can be the likelihood of her
being a curse to anybody?"
"Yes, my dear Godfrey," said Nancy, who was sitting with her hands
tightly clasped together, and with yearning, regretful affection in
her eyes. "The child may not turn out ill with the weaver. But,
then, he didn't go to seek her, as we should be doing. It will be
wrong: I feel sure it will. Don't you remember what that lady we
met at the Royston Baths told us about the child her sister adopted?
That was the only adopting I ever heard of: and the child was
transported when it was twenty-three. Dear Godfrey, don't ask me to
do what I know is wrong: I should never be happy again. I know it's
very hard for you--it's easier for me--but it's the will of
Providence."
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