William Shakespeare: The Comedy of Errors

ACT III. SCENE 1. The same. (continued)

DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen!

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
[Within] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!
Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch:
Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,
When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
Who talks within there? Ho, open the door!

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
Right, sir; I'll tell you when an you'll tell me wherefore.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
Wherefore! For my dinner: I have not dined to-day.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
Nor to-day here you must not; come again when you may.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,
Thou wouldst have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an
ass.

LUCE.
[Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the
gate?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
Let my master in, Luce.

LUCE.
Faith, no, he comes too late;
And so tell your master.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
O Lord, I must laugh;--
Have at you with a proverb:--Shall I set in my staff?