Anthony Trollope: The Belton Estate

18. CHAPTER XVIII: MRS ASKERTON'S STORY (continued)

'Do? in what way? I shall do nothing.'

'But you will write to Captain Aylmer?'

'Yes I shall write to him.'

'And about this?'

'Yes I suppose I must write to him.'

'And what will you say?'

'That I cannot tell. I wish I knew what to say. If it were to his mother I could write my letter easily enough.'

'And what would you say to her?'

'I would tell her that I was responsible for my own friends. But I must go now. Papa will complain that I am so long away.' Then there was another embrace, and at last Clara found her way out of the house and was alone again in the park.

She clearly acknowledged to herself that she had a great difficulty before her. She had committed herself altogether to Mrs Askerton, and could no longer entertain any thought of obeying the very plainly expressed commands which Captain Aylmer had given her. The story as told by Captain Aylmer had been true throughout; but, in the teeth of that truth, she intended to maintain her acquaintance with Mrs Askerton. From that there was now no escape. She had been carried away by impulse in what she had done and said at the cottage, but she could not bring herself to regret it. She could not believe that it was her duty to throw over and abandon a woman whom she loved, because that woman had once, in her dire extremity, fallen away from the path of virtue. But how was she to write the letter?

When she reached her father he complained of her absence, and almost scolded her for having been so long at the cottage. 'I cannot see', said he, 'what you find in that woman to make so much of her.'

'She is the only neighbour I have, papa.'