William Shakespeare: The Tragedy of King Lear

ACT I. 5. Scene V. Court before the Duke of Albany's Palace.

[Enter Lear, Kent, and Fool.]

Lear.
Go you before to Gloster with these letters: acquaint my
daughter no further with anything you know than comes from her
demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I
shall be there afore you.

Kent.
I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter.

[Exit.]

Fool.
If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not in danger of kibes?

Lear.
Ay, boy.

Fool.
Then I pr'ythee be merry; thy wit shall not go slipshod.

Lear.
Ha, ha, ha!

Fool.
Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly; for though
she's as like this as a crab's like an apple, yet I can tell
what I can tell.

Lear.
What canst tell, boy?

Fool.
She'll taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou
canst tell why one's nose stands i' the middle on's face?

Lear.
No.

Fool.
Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose, that what a man
cannot smell out, he may spy into.

Lear.
I did her wrong,--

Fool.
Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?

Lear.
No.

Fool.
Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.

Lear.
Why?

Fool.
Why, to put's head in; not to give it away to his daughters, and
leave his horns without a case.