Phase the Fifth: The Woman Pays
36. CHAPTER XXXVI (continued)
"Quite sure. We ought to part, and we may as well get
it past and done. You once said that I was apt to win
men against their better judgement; and if I am
constantly before your eyes I may cause you to change
your plans in opposition to your reason and wish; and
afterwards your repentance and my sorrow will be
terrible."
"And you would like to go home?" he asked.
"I want to leave you, and go home."
"Then it shall be so."
Though she did not look up at him, she started. There
was a difference between the proposition and the
covenant which she had felt only too quickly.
"I feared it would come to this," she murmured, her
countenance meekly fixed. "I don't complain, Angel,
I--I think it best. What you said has quite convinced
me. Yes, though nobody else should reproach me if we
should stay together, yet somewhen, years hence, you
might get angry with me for any ordinary matter, and
knowing what you do of my bygones you yourself might be
tempted to say words, and they might be overheard,
perhaps by my own children. O, what only hurts me now
would torture and kill me then! I will go--tomorrow."
"And I shall not stay here. Though I didn't like to
initiate it, I have seen that it was advisable we
should part--at least for a while, till I can better
see the shape that things have taken, and can write to
you."
Tess stole a glance at her husband. He was pale, even
tremulous; but, as before, she was appalled by the
determination revealed in the depths of this gentle
being she had married--the will to subdue the grosser
to the subtler emotion, the substance to the
conception, the flesh to the spirit. Propensities,
tendencies, habits, were as dead leaves upon the
tyrannous wind of his imaginative ascendency.
He may have observed her look, for he explained--
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