William Shakespeare: All's Well That Ends Well

ACT II. SCENE 3. Paris. The KING'S palace. (continued)

PAROLLES.
I have not, my lord, deserved it.

LAFEU.
Yes, good faith, every dram of it: and I will not bate thee
a scruple.

PAROLLES.
Well, I shall be wiser.

LAFEU.
E'en as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at a smack
o' th' contrary. If ever thou beest bound in thy scarf and
beaten, thou shalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. I
have a desire to hold my acquaintance with thee, or rather my
knowledge, that I may say in the default, he is a man I know.

PAROLLES.
My lord, you do me most insupportable vexation.

LAFEU.
I would it were hell-pains for thy sake, and my poor doing
eternal: for doing I am past; as I will by thee, in what motion
age will give me leave.

[Exit.]

PAROLLES.
Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace off me;
scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord!--Well, I must be patient; there
is no fettering of authority. I'll beat him, by my life, if I can
meet him with any convenience, an he were double and double a
lord. I'll have no more pity of his age than I would have of--
I'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again.

[Re-enter LAFEU.]

LAFEU.
Sirrah, your lord and master's married; there's news for you; you
have a new mistress.

PAROLLES.
I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make some reservation
of your wrongs: he is my good lord: whom I serve above is my
master.

LAFEU.
Who? God?

PAROLLES.
Ay, sir.

LAFEU.
The devil it is that's thy master. Why dost thou garter up thy
arms o' this fashion? dost make hose of thy sleeves? do other
servants so? Thou wert best set thy lower part where thy nose
stands. By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'd beat
thee: methink'st thou art a general offence, and every man should
beat thee. I think thou wast created for men to breathe
themselves upon thee.