William Shakespeare: The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT II. SCENE 2. A room in the Garter Inn. (continued)

FALSTAFF.
Would it apply well to the vehemency of your
affection, that I should win what you would enjoy?
Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.

FORD.
O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the
excellency of her honour that the folly of my soul dares
not present itself; she is too bright to be looked against.
Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand,
my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves;
I could drive her then from the ward of her purity,
her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her
defences, which now are too too strongly embattled against
me. What say you to't, Sir John?

FALSTAFF.
Master Brook, I will first make bold with your
money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman,
you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.

FORD.
O good sir!

FALSTAFF.
I say you shall.

FORD.
Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.

FALSTAFF.
Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall
want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own
appointment; even as you came in to me her assistant or
go-between parted from me: I say I shall be with her between
ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally
knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at
night; you shall know how I speed.

FORD.
I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?

FALSTAFF.
Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him
not; yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the
jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which
his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the
key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.

FORD.
I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him
if you saw him.