William Shakespeare: The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT II. SCENE 3. A field near Windsor. (continued)

HOST.
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal! Hector of Greece,
my boy!

CAIUS.
I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or
seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.

SHALLOW.
He is the wiser man, Master doctor: he is a curer
of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight,
you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true,
Master Page?

PAGE.
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,
though now a man of peace.

SHALLOW.
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and
of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make
one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen,
Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are
the sons of women, Master Page.

PAGE.
'Tis true, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW.
It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor
Caius, I come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace;
you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh
hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You
must go with me, Master Doctor.

HOST.
Pardon, guest-justice.--A word, Monsieur Mockwater.

CAIUS.
Mock-vater! Vat is dat?

HOST.
Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

CAIUS.
By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman.--
Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.

HOST.
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

CAIUS.
Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?

HOST.
That is, he will make thee amends.

CAIUS.
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for,
by gar, me vill have it.