Kenneth Grahame: The Wind in the Willows

4. MR. BADGER (continued)

`How many has he had?' inquired the Badger gloomily.

`Smashes, or machines?' asked the Rat. `Oh, well, after all, it's the same thing--with Toad. This is the seventh. As for the others--you know that coach-house of his? Well, it's piled up-- literally piled up to the roof--with fragments of motor-cars, none of them bigger than your hat! That accounts for the other six--so far as they can be accounted for.'

`He's been in hospital three times,' put in the Mole; `and as for the fines he's had to pay, it's simply awful to think of.'

`Yes, and that's part of the trouble,' continued the Rat. `Toad's rich, we all know; but he's not a millionaire. And he's a hopelessly bad driver, and quite regardless of law and order. Killed or ruined--it's got to be one of the two things, sooner or later. Badger! we're his friends--oughtn't we to do something?'

The Badger went through a bit of hard thinking. `Now look here!' he said at last, rather severely; `of course you know I can't do anything NOW?'

His two friends assented, quite understanding his point. No animal, according to the rules of animal-etiquette, is ever expected to do anything strenuous, or heroic, or even moderately active during the off-season of winter. All are sleepy--some actually asleep. All are weather-bound, more or less; and all are resting from arduous days and nights, during which every muscle in them has been severely tested, and every energy kept at full stretch.

`Very well then!' continued the Badger. `BUT, when once the year has really turned, and the nights are shorter, and halfway through them one rouses and feels fidgety and wanting to be up and doing by sunrise, if not before--YOU know!----'

Both animals nodded gravely. THEY knew!

`Well, THEN,' went on the Badger, `we--that is, you and me and our friend the Mole here--we'll take Toad seriously in hand. We'll stand no nonsense whatever. We'll bring him back to reason, by force if need be. We'll MAKE him be a sensible Toad. We'll--you're asleep, Rat!'