William Shakespeare: King Henry IV Part I

ACT II. 4. Scene IV. Eastcheap. A Room in the Boar's-Head Tavern. (continued)

PRINCE.
Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou stand for me, and I'll play
my father.

FAL.
Depose me! if thou dost it half so gravely, so majestically, both
in word and matter, hang me up by the heels for a rabbit-sucker or a
poulter's hare.

PRINCE.
Well, here I am set.

FAL.
And here I stand.--Judge, my masters.

PRINCE.
Now, Harry, whence come you?

FAL.
My noble lord, from Eastcheap.

PRINCE.
The complaints I hear of thee are grievous.

FAL.
'Sblood, my lord, they are false.--Nay, I'll tickle ye for a
young prince, i'faith.

PRINCE.
Swearest thou, ungracious boy? henceforth ne'er look on me. Thou art
violently carried away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee, in
the likeness of an old fat man,--a tun of man is thy companion. Why
dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of
beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of
sack, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that
reverend Vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity
in years? Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? wherein
neat and cleanly, but to carve a capon and eat it? wherein cunning, but
in craft? wherein crafty, but in villany? wherein villainous, but in
all things? wherein worthy, but in nothing?

FAL.
I would your Grace would take me with you: whom means your Grace?

PRINCE.
That villainous abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old
white-bearded Satan.

FAL.
My lord, the man I know.

PRINCE.
I know thou dost.