William Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

ACT 3. 3. Scene III. A Street.

[Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES, with the Watch.]

DOGBERRY.
Are you good men and true?

VERGES.
Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body
and soul.

DOGBERRY.
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have
any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince's watch.

VERGES.
Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.

DOGBERRY.
First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

FIRST WATCH.
Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal; for they can write and read.

DOGBERRY.
Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God hath blessed you with a good name:
to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune; but to write and
read comes by nature.

SECOND WATCH.
Both which, Master Constable,--

DOGBERRY.
You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir,
why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing
and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity.
You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the
constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your
charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man
stand, in the prince's name.

SECOND WATCH.
How, if a' will not stand?

DOGBERRY.
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call
the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

VERGES.
If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince's
subjects.

DOGBERRY.
True, and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects.
You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the watch to
babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.