William Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

ACT 3. 3. Scene III. A Street. (continued)

SECOND WATCH.
We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

DOGBERRY.
Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I
cannot see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your
bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses,
and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

SECOND WATCH.
How if they will not?

DOGBERRY.
Why then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not
then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took
them for.

SECOND WATCH.
Well, sir.

DOGBERRY.
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office,
to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle
or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

SECOND WATCH.
If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

DOGBERRY.
Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch pitch will
be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is
to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.

VERGES.
You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

DOGBERRY.
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any
honesty in him.

VERGES.
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse
and bid her still it.

SECOND WATCH.
How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?

DOGBERRY.
Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying;
for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never
answer a calf when he bleats.