William Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

ACT 1. 1. Scene I. Before LEONATO'S House. (continued)

DON PEDRO.
You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being
a man. Truly the lady fathers herself. Be happy, lady, for you are
like an honourable father.

BENEDICK.
If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her
shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.

BEATRICE.
I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody
marks you.

BENEDICK.
What! my dear Lady Disdain, are you yet living?

BEATRICE.
Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet food to
feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain
if you come in her presence.

BENEDICK.
Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies,
only you excepted; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not
a hard heart;for, truly, I love none.

BEATRICE.
A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a
pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour
for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he
loves me.

BENEDICK.
God keep your ladyship still in that mind;so some gentleman or other
shallscape a predestinate scratched face.

BEATRICE.
Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours
were.

BENEDICK.
Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

BEATRICE.
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

BENEDICK.
I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a
continuer. But keep your way, i' God's name; I have done.

BEATRICE.
You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.