William Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

ACT 4. 2. Scene II. A Prison. (continued)

CONRADE.
Off, coxcomb!

DOGBERRY.
God's my life! where's the sexton? let him write down the prince's
officer coxcomb. Come, bind them. Thou naughty varlet!

CONRADE.
Away! you are an ass; you are an ass.

DOGBERRY.
Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that
he were here to write me down an ass! but, masters, remember that I am
an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.
No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee
by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more, an officer;
and, which is more, a householder; and, which is more, as pretty a
piece of flesh as any in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to;
and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses; and
one that hath two gowns, and everything handsome about him. Bring him
away. O that I had been writ down an ass!

[Exeunt.]