Anthony Trollope: The Belton Estate

5. CHAPTER V: NOT SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING (continued)

'Be my brother always.'

A black cloud crossed his brow as this request reached his ears. She was looking anxiously into his face, watching every turn in the expression of his countenance. 'Will you not let it wait till Christmas?' he asked.

She thought it would be cruel to refuse this request, and yet she knew that no such waiting could be of service to him. He had been awkward in his love-making, and was aware of it. He should have contrived this period of waiting for himself; giving her no option but to wait and think of it. He should have made no proposal, but have left her certain that such proposal was coming. In such case she must have waited and if good could have come to him from that, he might have received it. But, as the question was now presented to her, it was impossible that she should consent to wait. To have given such consent would have been tantamount to receiving him as her lover. She was therefore forced to be cruel.

'It will be of no avail to postpone my answer when I know what it must be. Why should there be suspense?'

'You mean that it is impossible that you should love me?'

'Not in that way, Will.'

'And why not?' Then there was a pause. 'But I am a fool to ask such a question as that, and I should be worse than a fool were I to press it. It must then be considered as settled?'

She got up and clung to his arm. 'Oh, Will, do not look at me like that!

'It must then be considered as settled?' he repeated.

'Yes, Will, yes. Pray consider it as settled.' He then sat down on the rock again, and she came and sat by him near to him, but not close as she had been before. She turned her eyes upon him, gazing on him, but did not speak to him; and he sat also without speaking for a while, with his eyes fixed upon the ground. 'I suppose we may go back to the house?' he said at last.