Fyodor Dostoevsky: The Idiot

PART IV 9. CHAPTER IX. (continued)

"Do you know this for certain?" asked Evgenie, with the greatest curiosity.

"Yes, for certain--quite for certain, now! I have discovered it ABSOLUTELY for certain, these last few days."

"What are you doing, then?" cried Evgenie, in horror. "You must be marrying her solely out of FEAR, then! I can't make head or tail of it, prince. Perhaps you don't even love her?"

"Oh, no; I love her with all my soul. Why, she is a child! She's a child now--a real child. Oh! you know nothing about it at all, I see."

"And are you assured, at the same time, that you love Aglaya too?"

"Yes--yes--oh; yes!"

"How so? Do you want to make out that you love them BOTH?"

"Yes--yes--both! I do!"

"Excuse me, prince, but think what you are saying! Recollect yourself!"

"Without Aglaya--I--I MUST see Aglaya!--I shall die in my sleep very soon--I thought I was dying in my sleep last night. Oh! if Aglaya only knew all--I mean really, REALLY all! Because she must know ALL--that's the first condition towards understanding. Why cannot we ever know all about another, especially when that other has been guilty? But I don't know what I'm talking about--I'm so confused. You pained me so dreadfully. Surely--surely Aglaya has not the same expression now as she had at the moment when she ran away? Oh, yes! I am guilty and I know it--I know it! Probably I am in fault all round--I don't quite know how--but I am in fault, no doubt. There is something else, but I cannot explain it to you, Evgenie Pavlovitch. I have no words; but Aglaya will understand. I have always believed Aglaya will understand--I am assured she will."