BOOK XIV. CONTAINING TWO DAYS.
1. Chapter i. An essay...
(continued)
Now it happens that this higher order of mortals is not to be seen,
like all the rest of the human species, for nothing, in the streets,
shops, and coffee-houses; nor are they shown, like the upper rank of
animals, for so much a-piece. In short, this is a sight to which no
persons are admitted without one or other of these qualifications,
viz., either birth or fortune, or, what is equivalent to both, the
honourable profession of a gamester. And, very unluckily for the
world, persons so qualified very seldom care to take upon themselves
the bad trade of writing; which is generally entered upon by the lower
and poorer sort, as it is a trade which many think requires no kind of
stock to set up with.
Hence those strange monsters in lace and embroidery, in silks and
brocades, with vast wigs and hoops; which, under the name of lords and
ladies, strut the stage, to the great delight of attorneys and their
clerks in the pit, and of the citizens and their apprentices in the
galleries; and which are no more to be found in real life than the
centaur, the chimera, or any other creature of mere fiction. But to
let my reader into a secret, this knowledge of upper life, though very
necessary for preventing mistakes, is no very great resource to a
writer whose province is comedy, or that kind of novels which, like
this I am writing, is of the comic class.
What Mr Pope says of women is very applicable to most in this station,
who are, indeed, so entirely made up of form and affectation, that
they have no character at all, at least none which appears. I will
venture to say the highest life is much the dullest, and affords very
little humour or entertainment. The various callings in lower spheres
produce the great variety of humorous characters; whereas here, except
among the few who are engaged in the pursuit of ambition, and the
fewer still who have a relish for pleasure, all is vanity and servile
imitation. Dressing and cards, eating and drinking, bowing and
courtesying, make up the business of their lives.
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