Joseph Conrad: Heart of Darkness

3. PART III (continued)

"`Intimacy grows quick out there,' I said. `I knew him as well as it is possible for one man to know another.'

"`And you admired him,' she said. `It was impossible to know him and not to admire him. Was it?'

"`He was a remarkable man,' I said, unsteadily. Then before the appealing fixity of her gaze, that seemed to watch for more words on my lips, I went on, `It was impossible not to--'

"`Love him,' she finished eagerly, silencing me into an appalled dumbness. `How true! how true! But when you think that no one knew him so well as I! I had all his noble confidence. I knew him best.'

"`You knew him best,' I repeated. And perhaps she did. But with every word spoken the room was growing darker, and only her forehead, smooth and white, remained illumined by the unextinguishable light of belief and love.

"`You were his friend,' she went on. `His friend,' she repeated, a little louder. `You must have been, if he had given you this, and sent you to me. I feel I can speak to you--and oh! I must speak. I want you--you who have heard his last words-- to know I have been worthy of him. . . . It is not pride. . . . Yes! I am proud to know I understood him better than anyone on earth--he told me so himself. And since his mother died I have had no one--no one--to--to--'

"I listened. The darkness deepened. I was not even sure whether he had given me the right bundle. I rather suspect he wanted me to take care of another batch of his papers which, after his death, I saw the manager examining under the lamp. And the girl talked, easing her pain in the certitude of my sympathy; she talked as thirsty men drink. I had heard that her engagement with Kurtz had been disapproved by her people. He wasn't rich enough or something. And indeed I don't know whether he had not been a pauper all his life. He had given me some reason to infer that it was his impatience of comparative poverty that drove him out there.