Lewis Carroll: Through the Looking Glass

CHAPTER 9: Queen Alice (continued)

`And you do Addition?' the White Queen asked. `What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?'

`I don't know,' said Alice. `I lost count.'

`She can't do Addition,' the Red Queen interrupted. `Can you do Subtraction? Take nine from eight.'

`Nine from eight I can't, you know,' Alice replied very readily: `but--'

`She can't do Subtraction,' said the White Queen. `Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife--what's the answer to that?'

`I suppose--' Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her. `Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog: what remains?'

Alice considered. `The bone wouldn't remain, of course, if I took it--and the dog wouldn't remain; it would come to bite me --and I'm sure I shouldn't remain!'

`Then you think nothing would remain?' said the Red Queen.

`I think that's the answer.'

`Wrong, as usual,' said the Red Queen: `the dog's temper would remain.'

`But I don't see how--'

`Why, look here!' the Red Queen cried. `The dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it?'

`Perhaps it would,' Alice replied cautiously.

`Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!' the Queen exclaimed triumphantly.

Alice said, as gravely as she could, `They might go different ways.' But she couldn't help thinking to herself, `What dreadful nonsense we ARE talking!'

`She can't do sums a BIT!' the Queens said together, with great emphasis.