Mark Twain: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

THE TALE OF THE LOST LAND CHAPTER 26: THE FIRST NEWSPAPER (continued)

   The cordial thanks of the Hosannah
    office are due, from editor down to
    devil, to the ever courteous and thought-
    ful Lord High Stew d of the Palace's
    Third Assistant V  t for several sau-
    ceTs of ice crEam a quality calculated
    to make the ey of the recipients hu-
    mid with grt  ude; and it done it.
    When this  administration wants to
    chalk up a desirable name for early
    promotion, the Hosannah would like a
    chance to sudgest.

   The Demoiselle Irene Dewlap, of
    South Astolat, is visiting her uncle, the
    popular host of the Cattlemen's Board-
    ing Ho&se, Liver Lane, this city.

   Young Barker the bellows-mender is
    hoMe again, and looks much improved
    by his vacation round-up among the out-
    lying smithies. See his ad.

Of course it was good enough journalism for a beginning; I knew that quite well, and yet it was somehow disappointing. The "Court Circular" pleased me better; indeed, its simple and dignified respectfulness was a distinct refreshment to me after all those disgraceful familiarities. But even it could have been improved. Do what one may, there is no getting an air of variety into a court circular, I acknowledge that. There is a profound monotonousness about its facts that baffles and defeats one's sincerest efforts to make them sparkle and enthuse. The best way to manage--in fact, the only sensible way--is to disguise repetitiousness of fact under variety of form: skin your fact each time and lay on a new cuticle of words. It deceives the eye; you think it is a new fact; it gives you the idea that the court is carrying on like everything; this excites you, and you drain the whole column, with a good appetite, and perhaps never notice that it's a barrel of soup made out of a single bean. Clarence's way was good, it was simple, it was dignified, it was direct and business-like; all I say is, it was not the best way:

             COURT CIRCULAR.

   On Monday, the king rode in the park.
    "  Tuesday,      "      "        "
    "  Wendesday     "      "        "
    "  Thursday      "      "        "
    "  Friday,       "      "        "
    "  Saturday      "      "        "
    "  Sunday,       "      "        "