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Oscar Wilde: The Importance of Being Earnest2. SECOND ACT (continued)JACK. How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can't make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless. ALGERNON. Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them. JACK. I say it's perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances. ALGERNON. When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing that consoles me. Indeed, when I am in really great trouble, as any one who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink. At the present moment I am eating muffins because I am unhappy. Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins. [Rising.] JACK. [Rising.] Well, that is no reason why you should eat them all in that greedy way. [Takes muffins from ALGERNON.] ALGERNON. [Offering tea-cake.] I wish you would have tea-cake instead. I don't like tea-cake. JACK. Good heavens! I suppose a man may eat his own muffins in his own garden. ALGERNON. But you have just said it was perfectly heartless to eat muffins. JACK. I said it was perfectly heartless of you, under the circumstances. That is a very different thing. ALGERNON. That may be. But the muffins are the same. [He seizes the muffin-dish from JACK.] JACK. Algy, I wish to goodness you would go. ALGERNON. You can't possibly ask me to go without having some dinner. It's absurd. I never go without my dinner. No one ever does, except vegetarians and people like that. Besides I have just made arrangements with Dr. Chasuble to be christened at a quarter to six under the name of Ernest. This is page 55 of 73. [Mark this Page] Mark any page to add this title to Your Bookshelf. (0 / 10 books on shelf) Buy a copy of The Importance of Being Earnest at Amazon.com
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