35. LADY SUSAN TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I will not attempt to describe my astonishment in reading the note this
moment received from you. I am bewildered in my endeavours to form some
rational conjecture of what Mrs. Mainwaring can have told you to occasion
so extraordinary a change in your sentiments. Have I not explained
everything to you with respect to myself which could bear a doubtful
meaning, and which the ill-nature of the world had interpreted to my
discredit? What can you now have heard to stagger your esteem for me? Have
I ever had a concealment from you? Reginald, you agitate me beyond
expression, I cannot suppose that the old story of Mrs. Mainwaring's
jealousy can be revived again, or at least be LISTENED to again. Come to me
immediately, and explain what is at present absolutely incomprehensible.
Believe me the single word of Langford is not of such potent intelligence
as to supersede the necessity of more. If we ARE to part, it will at least
be handsome to take your personal leave--but I have little heart to jest;
in truth, I am serious enough; for to be sunk, though but for an hour, in
your esteem Is a humiliation to which I know not how to submit. I shall
count every minute till your arrival.