William Shakespeare: King Henry IV Part II

ACT II. 2. SCENE II. London. Another street. (continued)

POINS.
[Reads.] "John Falstaff, knight,"--every man must know that, as oft
as he has occasion to name himself: even like those that are kin
to the king; for they never prick their finger but they say,
"There's some of the king's blood spilt."
"How comes that?" says he, that takes upon him not to conceive.
The answer is as ready as a borrower's cap,
"I am the king's poor cousin, sir."

PRINCE.
Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it from Japhet.
But to the letter:

POINS.
[Reads] "Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the king,
nearest his father, Harry Prince of Wales, greeting." Why, this
is a certificate.

PRINCE.
Peace!

POINS.
[Reads.] "I will imitate the honourable Romans in brevity:" he sure
means brevity in breath, short-winded. "I commend me to thee, I commend
thee, and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins; for he misuses
thy favours so much, that he swears thou art to marry his sister Nell.
Repent at idle times as thou mayest; and so, farewell.
     "Thine, by yea and no, which is as much as to say, as thou
usest him,
     JACK FALSTAFF with my familiars, JOHN with my brothers and
     sisters, and SIR JOHN with all Europe."
My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat it.

PRINCE.
That 's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you use
me thus, Ned? must I marry your sister?

POINS.
God send the wench no worse fortune! But I never said so.

PRINCE.
Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and the spirits of the
wise sit in the clouds and mock us. Is your master here in London?

BARDOLPH.
Yea, my lord.

PRINCE.
Where sups he? doth the old boar feed in the old frank?

BARDOLPH.
At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.