William Shakespeare: The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT II. SCENE 2. A room in the Garter Inn. (continued)

FALSTAFF.
But what says she to me? be brief, my good she-Mercury.

QUICKLY.
Marry, she hath received your letter; for the
which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you
to notify that her husband will be absence from his house
between ten and eleven.

FALSTAFF.
Ten and eleven?

QUICKLY.
Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see
the picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, her
husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads
an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man; she leads a
very frampold life with him, good heart.

FALSTAFF.
Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I
will not fail her.

QUICKLY.
Why, you say well. But I have another messenger
to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations
to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she's as
fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will
not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in
Windsor, whoe'er be the other; and she bade me tell your
worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she
hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so
dote upon a man: surely I think you have charms, la! yes,
in truth.

FALSTAFF.
Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my
good parts aside, I have no other charms.

QUICKLY.
Blessing on your heart for 't!

FALSTAFF.
But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and
Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me?

QUICKLY.
That were a jest indeed! They have not so little
grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page
would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves:
her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page;
and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in
Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will,
say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she
list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly she
deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she
is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.