William Shakespeare: The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT V. SCENE 5. Another part of the Park. (continued)

SLENDER.
Whoa, ho! ho! father Page!

PAGE.
Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?

SLENDER.
Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire
know on't; would I were hanged, la, else!

PAGE.
Of what, son?

SLENDER.
I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne
Page, and she's a great lubberly boy: if it had not been i'
the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have
swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page,
would I might never stir! and 'tis a postmaster's boy.

PAGE.
Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.

SLENDER.
What need you tell me that? I think so, when I
took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all
he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him.

PAGE.
Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how
you should know my daughter by her garments?

SLENDER.
I went to her in white and cried 'mum' and she
cried 'budget' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was
not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.

EVANS.
Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see put marry poys?

PAGE.
O I am vexed at heart: what shall I do?

MRS. PAGE.
Good George, be not angry: I knew of your
purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she
is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.

[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS.]

CAIUS.
Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened; I ha'
married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is
not Anne Page; by gar, I am cozened.

MRS. PAGE.
Why, did you take her in green?