William Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

ACT 4. 2. Scene II. A Prison.

[Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and SEXTON, in gowns; and the Watch,
with CONRADE and BORACHIO.]

DOGBERRY.
Is our whole dissembly appeared?

VERGES.
O! a stool and a cushion for the sexton.

SEXTON.
Which be the malefactors?

DOGBERRY.
Marry, that am I and my partner.

VERGES.
Nay, that's certain: we have the exhibition to examine.

SEXTON.
But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them
come before Master constable.

DOGBERRY.
Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?

BORACHIO.
Borachio.

DOGBERRY.
Pray write down Borachio. Yours, sirrah?

CONRADE.
I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.

DOGBERRY.
Write down Master gentleman Conrade. Masters, do you serve God?

BOTH.
Yea, sir, we hope.

DOGBERRY.
Write down that they hope they serve God: and write God first; for
God defend but God should go before such villains! Masters, it is
proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it
will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?

CONRADE.
Marry, sir, we say we are none.

DOGBERRY.
A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him.
Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is
thought you are false knaves.

BORACHIO.
Sir, I say to you we are none.

DOGBERRY.
Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ
down, that they are none?