8. Chapter viii. Containing various matters.
(continued)
As conversations of this kind afford no great entertainment, we shall
be excused from reciting the whole that past at this interview; in
which, after his lordship had made many declarations of the most pure
and ardent passion to the silent blushing Sophia, she at last
collected all the spirits she could raise, and with a trembling low
voice said, "My lord, you must be yourself conscious whether your
former behaviour to me hath been consistent with the professions you
now make." "Is there," answered he, "no way by which I can atone for
madness? what I did I am afraid must have too plainly convinced you,
that the violence of love had deprived me of my senses." "Indeed, my
lord," said she, "it is in your power to give me a proof of an
affection which I much rather wish to encourage, and to which I should
think myself more beholden." "Name it, madam," said my lord, very
warmly. "My lord," says she, looking down upon her fan, "I know you
must be sensible how uneasy this pretended passion of yours hath made
me." "Can you be so cruel to call it pretended?" says he. "Yes, my
lord," answered Sophia, "all professions of love to those whom we
persecute are most insulting pretences. This pursuit of yours is to me
a most cruel persecution: nay, it is taking a most ungenerous
advantage of my unhappy situation." "Most lovely, most adorable
charmer, do not accuse me," cries he, "of taking an ungenerous
advantage, while I have no thoughts but what are directed to your
honour and interest, and while I have no view, no hope, no ambition,
but to throw myself, honour, fortune, everything at your feet." "My
lord," says she, "it is that fortune and those honours which gave you
the advantage of which I complain. These are the charms which have
seduced my relations, but to me they are things indifferent. If your
lordship will merit my gratitude, there is but one way." "Pardon me,
divine creature," said he, "there can be none. All I can do for you is
so much your due, and will give me so much pleasure, that there is no
room for your gratitude." "Indeed, my lord," answered she, "you may
obtain my gratitude, my good opinion, every kind thought and wish
which it is in my power to bestow; nay, you may obtain them with ease,
for sure to a generous mind it must be easy to grant my request. Let
me beseech you, then, to cease a pursuit in which you can never have
any success. For your own sake as well as mine I entreat this favour;
for sure you are too noble to have any pleasure in tormenting an
unhappy creature. What can your lordship propose but uneasiness to
yourself, by a perseverance, which, upon my honour, upon my soul,
cannot, shall not prevail with me, whatever distresses you may drive
me to." Here my lord fetched a deep sigh, and then said--"Is it then,
madam, that I am so unhappy to be the object of your dislike and
scorn; or will you pardon me if I suspect there is some other?" Here
he hesitated, and Sophia answered with some spirit, "My lord, I shall
not be accountable to you for the reasons of my conduct. I am obliged
to your lordship for the generous offer you have made; I own it is
beyond either my deserts or expectations; yet I hope, my lord, you
will not insist on my reasons, when I declare I cannot accept it."
Lord Fellamar returned much to this, which we do not perfectly
understand, and perhaps it could not all be strictly reconciled either
to sense or grammar; but he concluded his ranting speech with saying,
"That if she had pre-engaged herself to any gentleman, however unhappy
it would make him, he should think himself bound in honour to desist."
Perhaps my lord laid too much emphasis on the word gentleman; for we
cannot else well account for the indignation with which he inspired
Sophia, who, in her answer, seemed greatly to resent some affront he
had given her.