BOOK FIVE: 1806 - 07
11. CHAPTER XI
(continued)
"And love of one's neighbor, and self-sacrifice?" began Pierre. "No,
I can't agree with you! To live only so as not to do evil and not to
have to repent is not enough. I lived like that, I lived for myself
and ruined my life. And only now when I am living, or at least trying"
(Pierre's modesty made him correct himself) "to live for others,
only now have I understood all the happiness of life. No, I shall
not agree with you, and you do not really believe what you are
saying." Prince Andrew looked silently at Pierre with an ironic smile.
"When you see my sister, Princess Mary, you'll get on with her,"
he said. "Perhaps you are right for yourself," he added after a
short pause, "but everyone lives in his own way. You lived for
yourself and say you nearly ruined your life and only found
happiness when you began living for others. I experienced just the
reverse. I lived for glory.- And after all what is glory? The same
love of others, a desire to do something for them, a desire for
their approval.- So I lived for others, and not almost, but quite,
ruined my life. And I have become calmer since I began to live only
for myself."
"But what do you mean by living only for yourself?" asked Pierre,
growing excited. "What about your son, your sister, and your father?"
"But that's just the same as myself- they are not others," explained
Prince Andrew. "The others, one's neighbors, le prochain, as you and
Princess Mary call it, are the chief source of all error and evil.
Le prochain- your Kiev peasants to whom you want to do good."
And he looked at Pierre with a mocking, challenging expression. He
evidently wished to draw him on.
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