William Shakespeare: The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT II. SCENE 2. A room in the Garter Inn. (continued)

QUICKLY.
Not so, an't please your worship.

FALSTAFF.
Good maid, then.

QUICKLY.
I'll be sworn;
As my mother was, the first hour I was born.

FALSTAFF.
I do believe the swearer. What with me?

QUICKLY.
Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?

FALSTAFF.
Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe
thee the hearing.

QUICKLY.
There is one Mistress Ford, sir,--I pray, come a little
nearer this ways:--I myself dwell with Master Doctor
Caius.

FALSTAFF.
Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,--

QUICKLY.
Your worship says very true;--I pray your worship
come a little nearer this ways.

FALSTAFF.
I warrant thee nobody hears--mine own people,
mine own people.

QUICKLY.
Are they so? God bless them, and make them his servants!

FALSTAFF.
Well: Mistress Ford, what of her?

QUICKLY.
Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Lord! your
worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of
us, I pray.

FALSTAFF.
Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford--

QUICKLY.
Marry, this is the short and the long of it. You
have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis wonderful:
the best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor,
could never have brought her to such a canary; yet
there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with
their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after
letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly,--all musk, and so
rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant
terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the
fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and I
warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.
I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I
defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the
way of honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get
her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all;
and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more,
pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.