BOOK THE FOURTH
17. Chapter XVII
(continued)
It was at this auspicious moment that Sosia was admitted to the presence of
the disconsolate carouser.
'Ho--what art thou?'
'Merely a messenger to Sallust. I give him this billet from a young female.
There is no answer that I know of. May I withdraw?'
Thus said the discreet Sosia, keeping his face muffled in his cloak, and
speaking with a feigned voice, so that he might not hereafter be recognized.
'By the gods--a pimp! Unfeeling wretch!--do you not see my sorrows? Go!
and the curses of Pandarus with you!'
Sosia lost not a moment in retiring.
'Will you read the letter, Sallust?' said the freedman.
'Letter!--which letter?' said the epicure, reeling, for he began to see
double. 'A curse on these wenches, say I! Am I a man to think
of--(hiccup)--pleasure, when--when--my friend is going to be eat up?'
'Eat another tartlet.'
'No, no! My grief chokes me!'
'Take him to bed said the freedman; and, Sallust's head now declining fairly
on his breast, they bore him off to his cubiculum, still muttering
lamentations for Glaucus, and imprecations on the unfeeling overtures of
ladies of pleasure.
Meanwhile Sosia strode indignantly homeward. 'Pimp, indeed!' quoth he to
himself. 'Pimp! a scurvy-tongued fellow that Sallust! Had I been called
knave, or thief. I could have forgiven it; but pimp! Faugh! There is
something in the word which the toughest stomach in the world would rise
against. A knave is a knave for his own pleasure, and a thief a thief for
his own profit; and there is something honorable and philosophical in being
a rascal for one's own sake: that is doing things upon principle--upon a
grand scale. But a pimp is a thing that defiles itself for another--a
pipkin that is put on the fire for another man's pottage! a napkin, that
every guest wipes his hands upon! and the scullion says, "by your leave too.
A pimp! I would rather he had called me parricide! But the man was drunk,
and did not know what he said; and, besides, I disguised myself. Had he
seen it had been Sosia who addressed him, it would have been "honest Sosia!"
and, "worthy man!" I warrant. Nevertheless, the trinkets have been won
easily--that's some comfort! and, O goddess Feronia! I shall be a freedman
soon! and then I should like to see who'll call me pimp!--unless, indeed, he
pay me pretty handsomely for it!'
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